will power is for people who don't want to get laid
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
