Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Randomize
