Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
