She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
