dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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