She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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