Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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