people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
