But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
