what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
