She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Help. Why am I so naked?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
