It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
