I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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