I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
