I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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