You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
