i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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