I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
