He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
