Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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