Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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