Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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