He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
