This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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