You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
