I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
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