My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
i can't believe i had my finger in that
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I just gift wrapped bread.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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