dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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