Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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