I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
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