kristin has been a bad kristin
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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