1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
