grandma shit on top of the toilet
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
