if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
