I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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