I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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