We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
