Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
