So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
