we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Randomize
