I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
