The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
