No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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