Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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