WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
