I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Can't talk, ducks in the car
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
