Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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