My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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