He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Drake has all the answers
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
