Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
i don't like sucking hair
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
