i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
