Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i just made my gag reflex go away.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
