If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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