I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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