so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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